Self Worth – Self Worth is the value that people put on themselves and it's based on their self-concept and self-esteem.
“People in my life (father, mother, friends, boss, teachers) care about me. I am valued by others, therefore, I value my self.”
Self Concept – Self Concept is the way someone thinks about him/herself.
“I think that I am capable….I can do things for myself and accomplish important things.”
Self-Esteem – Self Esteem is the way someone feels about him/herself.
“I feel good about myself. I can make a mistake but it doesn’t mean that I am a bad person.”
Why should we care of our children develop a healthy self esteem? It is important that children develop positive self worth, self concept and a healthy self esteem. Children (and adults) who value themselves, think positive, and feel good about who they are tend to be happy, helpful children. They take care of their bodies, and act in ways that will benefit their futures.
A healthy (good) self esteem is based on experiences. These experiences include the way he is talked to, the things that he learns, and the way he is accepted by others. Parents are mostly responsible for their children’s self esteem because parents have the most contact with their children and and the most interaction with them. Healthy (good) parenting helps to develop a healthy self esteem. The way that parents respond to their children's experiences helps them to process the experience as good or bad. Chose your words carefully. Realize that children and teens struggle to learn every day and notice their progress. Understand that brain development continues throughout the teens years till they reach their mid-twenties and be patient.
Ways NOT to build a healthy self esteem:
· Yelling and screaming scare children. Children who are yelled at will learn to yell themselves.
· Hitting, yanking, or grabbing at children scares them. Children who are hit, yanked, or grabbed learn to hit, yank, and grab.
· Name calling and swearing at children scares them. Children who are called names and sworn at learn to call names and swear.
These methods scare children and they do not want to be around their parents. When children are fearful and start to expect anger as a reaction, they stop going to their parents for help and advice and they stop using them as sounding boards for their big decisions. The people who are less scary and more accepting are their friends, so they start asking their advice and help on the big decisions...they learn their friend's values and morals instead of yours!!
Understanding that you're still ok even when you make mistakes and other's are criticizing you is huge and so helpful even when you're an adult.
Check out the CARE website at http://www.careofsem.com/ or call 586.541.0033 for our current list of parenting classes.
And don't forget to tune into our March 7 Parent Chat on Strong-willed Mothers and Daughters at 11:30 am at http://www.macombdaily.com/